It’s not a difficult task. Almost everyone has been doing it since they were toddlers. Yet, the performance of F&M students at this task has led to me wonder if getting into F&M is really that much of an achievement.

Ok, I’ll admit, it’s not like anyone is stumbling over all the time. The problem lies in the fact that it seems in the case of almost every student, that when one has to perform a mediocre task while walking he will lose all awareness of the fact that his body must occupy some sort of space, and that in order for his body to occupy said space that space must be empty. So what I am really asking isn’t that I want everyone to know how to walk (which they should), it is that I am asking people to understand one of the basic foundations of reality. Let me demonstrate with a brief description with the itinerary of the typical freshman in D-hall.

First they will enter, and swipe themselves in. So far so good. Then, as if they are Dorothy seeing the land of Oz for the first time, they will gawk with a mixture of amazement and bewilderment at every single inch of D-hall as they carelessly throw their bodies throughout the cafeteria. They will look in every direction whilst they scurry about, except for directly in front of them, which, coincidentally, is they very direction one ought look in. They will angrily dart out of each other’s way, not losing the opportunity to give a condescending stare. Elbows will be bumped, and not a single fuck about collision prevention will be given.

The best solution to this chaotic mess is literally right in front of everyone. If people would just take a quick scope of where things are in front of them, then those things will no longer provide a problem, because they can plan accordingly. This is not rocket science… it’s not even any science, it’s just common sense and courtesy, yet very people do not seem to understand. Why? Does the environment of D-Hall invoke the most primal instincts of man?  Does not going as fast as possible jeopardize one’s well-being?



24,446 thoughts on “Walking.