It’s not a difficult task. Almost everyone has been doing it since they were toddlers. Yet, the performance of F&M students at this task has led to me wonder if getting into F&M is really that much of an achievement.

Ok, I’ll admit, it’s not like anyone is stumbling over all the time. The problem lies in the fact that it seems in the case of almost every student, that when one has to perform a mediocre task while walking he will lose all awareness of the fact that his body must occupy some sort of space, and that in order for his body to occupy said space that space must be empty. So what I am really asking isn’t that I want everyone to know how to walk (which they should), it is that I am asking people to understand one of the basic foundations of reality. Let me demonstrate with a brief description with the itinerary of the typical freshman in D-hall.

First they will enter, and swipe themselves in. So far so good. Then, as if they are Dorothy seeing the land of Oz for the first time, they will gawk with a mixture of amazement and bewilderment at every single inch of D-hall as they carelessly throw their bodies throughout the cafeteria. They will look in every direction whilst they scurry about, except for directly in front of them, which, coincidentally, is they very direction one ought look in. They will angrily dart out of each other’s way, not losing the opportunity to give a condescending stare. Elbows will be bumped, and not a single fuck about collision prevention will be given.

The best solution to this chaotic mess is literally right in front of everyone. If people would just take a quick scope of where things are in front of them, then those things will no longer provide a problem, because they can plan accordingly. This is not rocket science… it’s not even any science, it’s just common sense and courtesy, yet very people do not seem to understand. Why? Does the environment of D-Hall invoke the most primal instincts of man?  Does not going as fast as possible jeopardize one’s well-being?



“I Hate Sodexo”

Perhaps this is not the best way to start of a blog, but it has to be said. I hate Sodexo. Furthermore, I hate them for multiple reasons, but this post is about one issue I have in particular with them. They got rid of the Chicken Tenders Dipdeal,  the staple of my freshmen year diet. Am I proud that I ate chicken tenders almost daily for an entire year? No. But I did what I had to in order to survive. And just as ecosystems are wrought when then bottom link of the food chain disappears, so was my diet as of this semester. I am yet to find a truly suitable substitute (although the Chicken Club Panini is not the worst).

And perhaps even worse then the sudden absence of delicious fried chicken is the fact that I know they can still make them. They still have the fryer and they still have the chicken tenders (I know this because of the existence of the chicken parmesan sandwich). It’s almost insulting in a way. I can see and smell them, yet Pandini’s,  or Taco Rica or whatever they decided to call  it still keeps them barely out of my grasp. Instead, I am giving the option of almost inedible bread or soggy nachos.

Sure, it may just seem that I am just talking about a non-issue, but hear me out. The sad state of the Sodexo restaurants is indicative (to me at least) of a decline in the quality of student life on campus. It has almost come to the point where I can’t bring myself to eat at the Sodexo restaurants anymore, and I have only been here for a year and a half. Now this wouldn’t be such an issue if it weren’t for the fact that there is literally no other option on campus. Students here are shoehorned in a sup-par meal plan option. Not only is the food not very good, but also in most cases what you can get for a meal swipe hardly constitutes a full meal.

As a student it makes me feel very frustrated. I am not asking for a four star dining experience. In fact, I would be content with the chicken tenders; they had provided to me an oasis from all of the other Sodexo options. All I want is for the ability to eat decently at my private college. It does not seem to me to be an unreasonable demand. They have the fryer, and they have the chicken tenders, all they have to do is throw the chicken tenders into the fryer.  God dammit, give me some tenders Sodexo.